I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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