I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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