dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
