So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
