Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
