"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
