I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
