i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
