I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
you made out with another girl for some wings
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
