Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
