We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
