My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
