I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
