I don't usually arrange sex via text message
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
do herpes really smell.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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