There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize