i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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