Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
