What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
