No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
