I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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