I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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