I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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