Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize