yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
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when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
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pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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