I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
