Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Randomize
