3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
