I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
