operation harelip BJ is a go
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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