about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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