There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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