Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize