Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize