He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
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I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
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He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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