I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
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its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
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Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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