If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It's rum buckets o'clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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