areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Farmville is her only friend.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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