I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
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