how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
