Screwed.edu
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
