Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
