how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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