I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Please don't give away my fajitas
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
