The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
