Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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