Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
