i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I would fuck him just for his dog
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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