We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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