I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
