You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
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Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
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it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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