so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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