My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
