I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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