sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
