The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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