my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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