I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
When did angry sex become our thing?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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