I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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