Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
