I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
