I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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