I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
