I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize