He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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