Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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