you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.