It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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